Some days I don’t want to talk as much, I think everyone goes through that. This year, 2016, a huge goal of mine is to really think before speaking. Last year was a whirlwind and by the end of it God laid on my heart the power of listening and silence. After few situations, I really felt God leading me to what He wants me to do and how much I can grow from it.
I’ve always been told that God won’t just
speak, I won’t be sitting in my living room waiting to hear surround sound, “Hello Danielle, it’s God.” Then how am I ever going to talk to you, my Lord? I’ll tell you, from the day I stepped in to a church I truly did all I could to figure this puzzle out. Person after person, “God spoke to me and..” at 9 years old, I was intrigued to have that moment when I really heard God speak to me.
Fifteen years later; apart of a life-giving church, a heart longing for more of Jesus, digging deeper than ever in my own walk, I was to learn more than I ever knew. Everyday I feel the urgency to spend time with the Lord by reading and worshiping (even if it’s just worshiping while getting ready, it’s time with Him). Funny enough, earlier this week I had decided I was going to wake up earlier than usual to get into my devotions, journal, read, spend time with Him..after sleeping through my alarm(s) for 45 minutes..frustration arose within and I could have cared less about my devotions. Ironically I got my coffee, checked my email, scrolled through Facebook, heard my Mom tell me, “You better get off there and read your devotions like you said..”, continued to scroll until Facebook kicked me off. Ha! If you don’t believe God has a sense of humor, just wait! That was it. I cleared my desk, grabbed my journal, and wrote. I needed to release the feelings growing inside. I needed to vent to the best counselor. I quickly opened my devotionals, almost with a huff and puff sound, just trying to get it done..
‹I use the YouVersion bible app with unlimited devotional options to chose from..it’s been a game changer in my walk. I’ve recently been stuck on Brian Houston’s (pastor of Hillsong Church) devotions, really proving to me that God is love. For so many years I learned how harsh God was, He was waiting for me to repent for my sins that day, and if not I would be going to hell. Well, well, well. After years of this falling short everyday, repenting, feeling guilty for any unloving action or thought, being a teenager for goodness sake..I finally have rediscovered the love God has for me. He loves those who don’t love Him. He loves even when we fall short. He loves us still as we say a curse word. Through anything, we are His children and He still loves us.›
..so anyway, back to my devotion, I’ve came to enjoying learning for myself through reading these devotions and getting in the word, it makes my heart so joyful! After I wrote, I flipped my bible open to the few verses my devotion directed me to. After the first two, the last one verse I was jaw dropped. Without going into detail, I had written, “Dear God. It’s Tuesday. Some weeks I feel further than ever and more stressed than ever. The struggle is real! Some days seem so much harder…I feel the devil trying to seep in. So irritating..” Within the matter of seconds I flipped to this verse:
Without saying anything, I continued to write, “Well thank you, I love you God!” God speaks when you put time in to not only talk to Him but stay around to listen, too. I hadn’t had an answer to a problem so quickly as that morning. I couldn’t help but rejoice and share the good news with my Mom. I always thought I’d really have to listen, be in my quiet place for some time, endlessly worshiping, but no – God told me what he wanted me to hear in an instant! I believe that God knew my heart at that moment, I needed to hear this from Him. Yeah I wrote but I don’t go into too much detail because well, God forbid someone read it and get offended if it was about them..but God knows us. He is the best counselor because He already knows our struggles and the battles we face on the inside. I would encourage you to start writing to God, give Him a few more minutes of your time, and really be willing to listen. I wasn’t wanting to really listen, but God speaks to us all the time, it almost felt like the sweetest smack in the face! I despise that I was taught I needed to be in the moment, if you will, when in reality God is with us every second of everyday; ready to listen and to talk! But now at 24 years old, I feel so revived that I converse with the best friend and therapist whenever necessary!! He loves us so much! What an incredible revelation, I pray someone reads this and has the same experience!